Tuesday, February 12, 2013

For The Love Of My Marriage

Oh, unspoken expectations.

So since I'm home with our little boy (I'm sloooowly returning to work), there's been this shift that's occurred in my marriage. Prior to the birth of our son we both worked full-time jobs. Now, Mr. Fix-It works a traditional schedule and I'm transitioning toward part-time-odd-hours-but-primarily-a-SAHM. And for the record, staying home and raising children is MORE than a full-time job. For real. I mean, sure, my "boss" took a 4 hour nap yesterday. But I also haven't slept on my own schedule since...August? Literally at any given moment I'm on call.

I digress...

So, when we both worked outside the home "equally" meal planning (or lack thereof) and housework were joint efforts - 50/50. Now that I'm home, groceries, cleaning, laundry, etc are all mine. I'm not complaining, per se, just observing. It's an unspoken expectation I've placed on myself. (And the hubs doesn't seem too upset.)

The real point of this post is about meal planning, though. I don't care about dinner. Weird? Maybe. By the end of the day, I would be happy to eat a bowl of cereal, some strawberries, and a few bites of cottage cheese. In fact, that's what I ate most nights when I was doing the single girl studio apartment scene. (I was also at my thinnest then. Just saying.) I really have little interest in cooking a whole meal that disappears in 10 minutes. And then clean up. Ugh.

Mr. Fix-It, on the other hand, is pretty rigid about his meals. I think the idea of skipping a meal gives him the shakes. Cereal for dinner? You may as well offer him cardboard. So, pre-baby, on the average night, at about 6:30 we would both blankly look at each other and wonder what to make for dinner. Mr. Fix-It would be annoyed that I didn't care, and I'd be annoyed that "fend for ourselves" wasn't considered a desirable option. It was a frequent source of tension.

Lately I've started doing this crazy thing. I meal plan. On Sunday I decide what we're eating for dinner each night. I make a list of ingredients we need. We grocery shop. I either get dinner started in the late afternoon, or Mr. Fix-It and I cook together once baby-man is asleep.

So, dare I say it? It's actually enjoyable. I no longer feel like a domestic failure and Mr. Fix-It is thrilled that we eat like a normal couple/family. Score one for marital bliss.

Friday, February 8, 2013

House Dreams

I always knew a house was part of the plan. Good old American Dreams, right? Get married, have kids, own a home. So far, we've managed to do all of those things. Being a homeowner (read: condo) is different than being a HOUSEowner, though.

Since baby Fix-It came along, I can't stop daydreaming about a house. Multiple rooms to decorate! Space! Stairs! Guest room! Grass!

I don't think my desire for a house is completely tied to moving from a couple to a family. But perhaps there's a subconscious hard-wiring that I've succumbed to. Either way, that's my current dream. Nothing sounds more heavenly.